East of the Cascades
The East of the Cascades in Washington state is the home of apple orchards and heavy snowfall. But don’t let the picturesque landscape of the Pine State fool you: Washington Winters are savage. There was a classic joke we passed around growin’ up: What are the four seasons of Washington? Winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
We Washintonians are a stubborn bunch. If you could open your front door in the morning, you’d be going to school. That isn’t hyperbole - the only 2 snow days I remember were when my family was trapped in the house due to 3 feet of snow in one night. So, under the ever-looming knowledge of the approaching winter, the cars we drove mattered - especially to the cash-strapped high schooler or parent of 5 who lives outside the bus route. 4WD was a must-have, not a commodity.
During a mid-January snow dump, I had the urge for a road trip. January is one of the slower months for car dealers in Washington, so I took the keys of a 2016 Rubicon off the peg-board in the office and put my snow-boots on.
This is not a stock Rubicon.
The rig has about $9,000 worth of dealer-installed modifications. 2″ lift, fat tires, LED light bar, Fox coil-overs, custom 16” wheels, tow hooks, etc. The vehicle was composed, surprisingly agile, and I had absolute confidence in the vehicle through what would normally make my cheeks squeeze. This is a Jeep Wrangler after all – the freshest young sprout from an ancestor so enduring not even the Blitzkrieg could break it.
I pointed the Jeep where I wanted to go and the snow simply got out of the way.
The Bright White and black trim of this car brought to mind a Husky. Were I to make an analogy of the dog world to the car world, the VW Golf is a Golden Retriever, the Ford F-150 a Labrador. and all Jeeps are Huskys.
They love the outdoors, they’re full of exuberance, they usually leave a mess behind them and 90% of the time they are making a ruckus and causing any number of inconveniences to their owner. But that remaining 10% of the time, they’re the best dog in the world.
The thing is, unlike a Husky, this Jeep Wrangler shall not be domesticated.
For something that costs over 50 grand, you sure don’t get much in the way of amenities. There’s more plastic around you than there is surrounding the barrier reef, most of the interior is ergonomically flawed and lacking thoughtful design. I had nowhere to rest my elbows without taking my hands off the wheel and I was flip-flopping around like a fish in a boat since the seat has all the support of a bus stop bench - which, by the way, are adjustable via only a plastic handle and gear and made of the same cheap cloth you get from $90 couches on Amazon. There were gaps between the panels in the removable hard top which caused a whistle so ungodly I had to put earmuffs on before attempting to shove my scarf in the gaps. This did not work. The body-lean from the lift-kit made every corner a reminder that I need to work on my core strength which was in addition to the unwelcome vibrations caused by the over-sized tires and body modifications. This is one of the worst cars I could ever imagine being a daily driver. But let’s be honest, it’s not supposed to be a daily driver.
If buying a heavily modified Jeep Wrangler Rubicon for grocery shopping or your office commute sounds like a good decision to you, then you’ve probably used a hammer to rest your head on and complained it isn’t soft enough. This vehicle has been purpose built for use as a blunt TOOL – so use it like one.
Honestly we’re lucky it has automatic windows. Of course this Jeep drove me insane on the highway – it was chomping at the bit, desperate to be let loose. When used for what it was built for, I got over the plastic trim. I stopped thinking about the body roll. I even forgot about the whistling - I was having too much damn fun to be bothered. The Jeep Wrangler has always been built to surge through mud and dirt, to tickle that childish urge to get dirty and go somewhere you shouldn’t.
It’s for adventures.
